Final Blog Post

The trip has come to an end, and I can honestly say that it was everything, and much more than I could ever ask for. Everything about it exceeded all expectations. Not only was it an incredible learning experience, it was also a once in a life time, life changing trip that I will forever be thankful for. If I had to use one word to sum up the whole experience, the word would be indescribable, because no words are powerful enough to completely capture all that it has been. Sure, I'm absolutely devastated to be leaving, but the one thing that makes it all better is the thought of how much we accomplished over the course of two weeks, and the fact that those kids are happy because of it, that feels incredibly rewarding to me.

Cambodia has definitely changed me. Little things like walking through the slums or my consequence have made me become more responsible for my actions and myself. I feel like my way of thinking has changed as well. Before, if I came across a problem I would give up on it completely and I would always rely on others to fix it for me. Now, I've taken the initiative to do things for myself. I feel much more responsible now than I did before and I also feel more confident. This trip has made me realize that I am much more capable than I ever though I could be.

 I have learned so much from this experience, and I have loved every single bit of it. From learning about Cambodia, to learning about myself, all of it has been amazing. The simplicity and the genuinely kind hearts of the people in Cambodia really surprised me. At first, I thought that because of their living conditions, they would be upset or mad all the time. But instead, they are always happy and they go on with their everyday lives as if nothing where wrong, because to them, nothing is wrong. They have everything that they could possibly need, and though it's not much, they are happy with what they have. That alone was an eye opening life lesson to me.

 I feel blessed and incredibly thankful for this opportunity. It was hard not to instantly fall in love. Out of everything we did in Cambodia, spending time with the kids was definitely my favorite. When we first arrived, they didn't even know our names, yet they where incredibly happy that we where there. They hugged and kissed us as if they had known us their whole lives. That alone was absolutely wonderful to me, and getting to know them and spend time with them was a million times better. Each and everyone of those kids won me over. There will always be room for them in my heart, and I will never, ever forget them. I can't believe how fast the time passed by. Yes, the trip has come to an end, but this is also the beginning of a new chapter that I will now be writing with a whole new, different perspective of life.

Goodbye

I woke up in the morning yesterday and the first thought that came to mind was the fact that it could be our last day that we would spend with the kids at the orphanage. That didn't feel real though. I've never really had to say goodbye to someone knowing that I may never see them again, so I didn't know what to expect when the time came. I couldn't accept the fact that it was our last day there with them, so I pushed that though away and tried to have good time while it lasted.

It wasn't until I had Joni in my arms that it actually hit me. I saw that first tear stream down her cheek and I completely lost it. By this time, everyone was crying as well. I had so much going on in my head, so many thoughts, feelings and emotions. On one hand, I was extremely proud of everything we accomplished. But on the other, I didn't want to let any of that go. I didn't want to let the kids go.

Everyday spent at CPO has been an absolute blessing. Through all the ups and downs, everything about it has been absolutely amazing. We have accomplished so much in the two weeks that we have spent here, from building a house, to building unbreakable bonds with those kids. Words can't even begin to describe how incredibly thankful I am for each and every second of this experience.   

Just a Little Perspective

It’s amazing how generous everyone here is. My goal for Cambodia was to give as much as possible, without expecting anything in return, yet I have gained so much from this experience. These people don’t have much, but they are incredibly giving. They will always find a way to show you their appreciation. For example,  when we where delivering supplies in the slums, people where constantly inviting us into their home, and offering us their food. Here these people live in little shacks, with no doors, dirt floors, and one wooden bed for the entire family, yet they are still willing to give us what they have. At home, we have it all, but all is never good enough. Personally, I’m never satisfied with what I have. There is always something out there that I “need”, always a material possession that I think will make my life better. Compared to these people, I have the world, and witnessing how happy they are with what they have, really opened my eyes. Material wise, it’s not about what you have or what you don’t have. None of that matters. In the end, the only thing that will matter is how you choose to live your life. 

Punishments and Rewards

When I was chosen for this experience, I had absolutely no idea what I was in for. In the beginning, I thought that everything we would do here would only benefit the kids. Now that I’m here, I have come to realize that it is about that, and so much more. We have been working really hard, and everything is for them, but during this process I’ve learned so much about myself. I’ve learned that I am so much more capable than I have ever realized. It’s crazy how much you can accomplish when you put your heart and soul into it. The expectations set upon us here are so high, that I now actually hold myself to these standards.

Working at the orphanage has really pushed me, but it has pushed me in a way that I am now becoming a better person. We have all been put to the test, physically and mentally, but somehow we have managed to keep it together. Here I have worked harder than I’ve ever worked in my life. I’ve also had a consequence, one that I will forever be thankful for. It made me realize that every action causes a chain reaction, and that bad actions always come with consequences, so I will keep that in mind next time I’m about to do something wrong.

There have been consequences, and there have been rewards. Today I was given the most precious reward that I could ever ask for. I was sitting on the stage at the orphanage, minding my own business, when Srey Mai came along. She gave me a huge hug and made herself comfortable in my arms. She mumbled something, but I didn’t quite hear what she said. She said it again. I then realized that she was asking me to be her sister. No words are powerful enough to describe how that made me feel. I immediately said yes, and a bust of emotions came over me. This got me thinking about the work have been doing. I have said it a million times, and I will say it again. It is absolutely worth it.  

It's The Little Things

I don’t think Cambodia has a limit when it comes to surprises. Today I had the opportunity to visit the Russian Market. I was incredibly overwhelmed by all the different sites and smells we encountered. Everywhere I looked I saw either raw meat, or dead fish. Every breath I took made my stomach turn. I was feeling kind of sick but the thought of the kids at the orphanage being nourished for the day because of the shopping we where doing, made it all better.

When we arrived orphanage, I was greeted by Jani, who had a beautiful drawing she had made just for me. No words can describe the amount of happiness that I felt in that moment. The fact that she took the time to make it just for me makes me feel like I have a place in her heart, like she does in mine. Srai Nite came along as well. She gave me a colorful little heart bracelet that absolutely adore. Its little things like these that warm my heart.

In the four days that we have been working on the boys ‘ house, we have made so much progress. It’s crazy how much we have done. We have all been working really hard and everything is starting to payoff. I’m very exited to see the finished product, but I’m even more exited that the boys are finally going to have a place to call home. 

Pure Joy

It’s barely been three days; I can’t believe how much my outlook of life has changed. Everything about this experience so far has been incredible.  There hasn’t been a day where I don’t catch myself smiling for no apparent reason. That’s what Cambodia will do to you.

We have all been working so hard. Most of the work has been on the field clearing the land, digging holes in the ground, and filling them with cement, all for the boy’s house that we will be building soon.  All this hard work is worth it though.  It will be so rewarding to see the house finished. Knowing that the house will be home to kids who may have never even had a bed to sleep in is truly overwhelming.

Everyone in Cambodia is so unpredictable. Talking to Sopiep today was such a pleasant surprise. I had no idea that I would ever become so comfortable with talking to a person who I had barely even met. We randomly started talking to each other. It was spontaneous!  We were challenged to conquer a fear today. I had already conquered one, but this one was special. I had never talked to a person who is blind before, and I didn’t know what so say or how to act around him. I was nervous at first but after the first 10 seconds into the conversation I was completely comfortable. I asked him two or three questions, he asked me maybe ten, and we were having a hard time communicating. I asked our translator Meng for help, and now I really feel like my connection with Sopiep is growing.

Throughout this trip so far, I have experienced so many different emotions, but today I felt something that I have never felt in my life…pure joy. As we were leaving the orphanage on the tuk tuk, the kids where still clinging on to my arms, and even after they let go, they chased after us. They were still full of energy, and jumping up and down simply because they knew we would be back tomorrow. This was such a precious feeling. It made me feel , for the very first time, like I was doing something right. 

Day 1

So far, we have spent only one full day in Cambodia, and I'm already completely in love. We started out the day with an orientation where they introduced us to our amazing translator, Meng. We spent about half an hour just practicing our pronunciation, which was extremely helpful, then we took off for the Toul Sleng museum. The tuk tuk ride over to the museum was an experience of its own. The streets were packed and there were absolutely no rules, no order. It was insane. Although we encountered many unpleasant odors, we still had an amazing time. Seeing Cambodia for the first time during the day was truly wonderful.

When we arrived at the museum and the tour started, my mood instantly changed. I went from being in a good mood, to feeling sick to my stomach. I was there, listening to everything the tour guide was saying, but nothing felt real. It felt like a really bad nightmare instead. I don't know exactly how to describe what I was feeling, but I felt like I was going to pass out and vomit. I just couldn't believe any of it. Seeing the beds, the jail cells, the blood stains, the bones, and simply learning about the history of Cambodia was incredible. We also went to the Killing Fields. There, we learned a lot more about the Khmer Rouge and even some of the stories of those who where affected by it. Hearing about it is one thing, but actually being there, where it all happened, was too overwhelming. Seeing bones scattered everywhere was absolutely awful, and just knowing what had happened there made me nauseous. Although I didn't like what I was hearing, going there was an absolutely amazing learning experience. 

Later that day, we got to go visit the orphanage for the first time. They had told us before hand that most of the kids would be in school, which was kind of a bummer, but we still managed to make the most of it with the kids that where there. We got off the tuk tuk and right away we made some new friends. Being happy there is completely inevitable. Lisa Marie gave us a little tour and we got to spend some time playing with some of the kids. Everyone there is so full of life. Their smiles are contagious. Their precious laughs made me feel like I was doing something right. We played volley ball, soccer, frisbee, and we had so much fun. I had an amazing time with the kids, I can't imagine how awesome it will be when all of the kids are there. I'm really excited to meet them all. 

Day one in Cambodia was wonderful. To sum it up, I had some major mood swings throughout the day, but everything was amazing, from the tuk tuk ride, to the museums, to the kids. The streets are fascinating, the people are wonderful, and everything exceeded all expectations. Tomorrow is when the real work starts, and today was just a little glimpse of what the next 17 days will look like. I don't care how hard we have to work, I know that in the end it will all be worth it. 

12 Hour Layover! Fun...

So we are here in Korea, stuck in the airport for 12 hours. There is nothing to do here, nothing to keep my mind occupied, so all I can think about is when I will be able to see the kids. I'm completely in love with all the little things that I've heard of them and I can't wait to finally get to meet them! The plane ride over here was very long and the time difference is really messing with me, but none of that matters to me. There is no doubt in my mind that all of this is will be worth it. When I got on the computer for the first time, I found out that trip one was also at the airport. We met up and they gave us tons of advice wich I know will be really helpful in Cambodia. We are all really excited, but right now all we can do is wait.