Sorry guys, it's going to be a long one...
Nothing
in the word compares to the 6 days that were spent at Escuela Especial. This
experience exceeded all expectations. So much time and effort was put into
accomplishing what yesterday might have seemed impossible. At the end of the
day, all of the blood, sweat, and tears shed were definitely worth it.
I
came into this trip knowing exactly what I was going to do. You can never be
too prepared, but I learned sign and had some lesson plans ready. I knew what I
was going to do, but one of my biggest fears was not knowing how to do it; It's
a whole different story when dealing with children who are disabled. After the
first 5 minutes in the classroom with the kids, that fear was immediately
replaced with other emotions that were more thoroughly developed later on in
the experience.
One
of the first emotions I felt was hope. I was hopeful that at least for a couple
of days, these kids would receive the love and attention they desperately need
and deserve. Overall, I just wanted them to be happy. Even if it was just for
the time we were there.
Throughout
the trip, the hope was always present, but there were also some unexpected,
darker emotions that came up. These emotions were anger, frustration, and
sadness. Emotions like these were evoked by my experience with Joulisa and
Marlin. Joulisa is 24. She has Cerebral Palsy, and a very ignorant mom. Marlin
is 26. She was completely normal until the age of 14, and has been living in
hell ever since her bones started deteriorating. We believe that it's
Parkinson's disease, but she is completely undiagnosed. Her mom hasn't bothered
to take her to the doctor, and she uses a hill that she supposedly can't get
Marlin down from as her excuse. I've been to her home. I managed to get her
down with a little help, so it is definitely not impossible. The one thing
Marlin and Joulisa have in common, is a mom who couldn't possibly care less.
That is where the anger comes to play. It's not fair that these girls get
treated worse than animals in their own homes, by their own parents. I can't
even begin to understand how these moms live with themselves and go on
throughout their days as if nothing is wrong.
On
the last day at the school, we had a party in honor of all the wonderful
children we had the pleasure to meet. All of the kids we met on the home visits
were invited as well, and I had the opportunity to go pick up the ones who had
no way of getting there. This day was an emotional roller coaster for me. As
curious as I am, I asked Magali (social services worker) who we were going to pick up. She showed me a list, but Joulisa wasn't on it. I asked Magali why
and she explained that after Joulisa's home visit, Joulisa's mom told her that
she was definitely not taking Joulisa to the party. I was enraged. Actually, I
don't quite know how I was feeling. This lady was given a full ride. She had
the chance to take Joulisa out for the first time in god knows how long, where
she would be fed and well taken care of, and she wasn't going to take it. I
made it my mission to get Joulisa to that party. I asked Magali if we could
stop by her house anyway. She said that it probably wouldn't be a good idea, as
Joulisa's mom was not too happy after the home visit, but I was determined.
After a lot of persuasion, we made it happen. If I hadn't spoken up about
Joulisa, she probably wouldn’t have been fed for the day. I definitely felt a
sense of accomplishment, but there was also a wave of frustration that came a
long with it. At the party, Joulisa started to have a seizure. Her mom spread
her arms out to try to hide her from the people around, and she literally
yelled at her and told her to stop as if she could control it.
At
times like these I really wished I didn't speak Spanish. Another fear of mine
was hearing things I didn't want to hear; things that would break my heart.
Speaking Spanish was an advantage, but it definitely took a toll on me
emotionally. It was all part of the experience though. I wouldn't change a
thing. Everything I heard and saw, and even had to translate, only opened my
eyes and made me appreciate everything I have a million times more. Working
with the kids was phenomenal. Every single one of them stole my heart. Being
aware of how they are treated at home and still seeing a smile on their faces
was surreal, and knowing that in that moment in time, we were the reason behind
their smiles, was truly overwhelming. Those kids completely won me over without
even trying. There will always be room for them in my heart. Having to say
goodbye was terrible, but thinking back and reflecting on everything that we
accomplished with them definitely makes the fact that we're not there anymore
slightly (not really) less painful. I feel incredibly blessed for this extraordinary opportunity. These trips are something words will never be enough to completely
capture.
This is what I like to do. This is what makes me happy…
and this is
only the beginning.
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